I don’t know which of my distant relatives I inherited my compulsivity to logic from. An unfortunate inheritance for someone stuck on a totally chaotic planet, where rights are turned inside out and respect is demanded but not deserved.
One crazy world we live in. No point in looking for any trace of logical consistency—to do so would be an inglorious and futile task. Things are never what they are and are always ready to stop being what they never were… If I’m being obscure, then that’s the reader’s impression: obscure is the fleeting Truth…
The fact is that the facts would never be approved if put to an intelligence test! After all, the three musketeers were four: Athos, Portos, Aramis and D’ Artagnan. Not to mention, who drives around town spilling debris everywhere? A garbage truck!
Within this parameter of realities, I point out a number of facts, purposes, daydreams and famous phrases. Somewhere between laughter and amazement, the illogicality of everyday life:
– I bought a car because the bus didn’t stop for me. Now, I have to stop for them.
– A man on horseback, sword and carbine is called a “Peacemaker.”
– The two trapeze artists clashed in the air. Luckily, they fell into the lions’ cage.
– “This is a country that is moving forward!”
– A woman leaves home, though she hated her husband.
– Vadinho came home drunk at 3:15 am in the morning. Thank God his mother-in-law was the one who opened the door, just visiting…
– Let’s wait for the cake to grow, then we’ll divide it. With patience and control of our digestive functions, we’ll taste its taste!
– Although they loved each other deeply, they ended up getting married.
– Mommy loves me. I do not know why she married Daddy…
– Dad loves Mom. I do not know why he’s never home…
– “Every doctor suffers from constipation.” (Ivan Illich)
– People marry because they cannot bear loneliness. Then they separate because they cannot stand mutual company anymore.
– General Euler Bentes lived on Rua Figueiredo Magalhães…
– The insane are imprisoned in hospices. Only the psychiatrists are free to roam the streets.
– Dogs that bark do not bite (while they’re barking). Dogs that bite do not bark (while they’re biting).
– The Peace Conference has opened today. The arms factories they built will be as well.
– 1st World War: this is a war to end all wars…
– Gaius Julius Caesar says, “Even you, Brutus?”
– Edevaldo grew tired of that life. After working twenty years as a gravedigger, he decided to study medicine.
– Despite his unstable temper, Oliver accepted the post of elevator attendant…
– The lion came to office, leaned back comfortably, took a deep breath, sensed the smell of clove oil, heard the little engine noise, opened his mouth wide, and swallowed the dentist.
– “Never have so many owed so much…” (Paraphrasing Churchill)
– Grandpa has a beautiful baritone voice; when he sings in the bathroom, the whole family lines up outside.
– Leogildo was a young assistant baker. He helped Mr. Manuel roll the dough. After he grew up, he changed careers; became a politician.
– Haven’t I told you time and time again to not tell me what I should say?!
– The man who starves is always seen as a potential live subservient.
– Rich girl, treated like an angel, dumb as a doorknob: love at first sight!” (Andrade)
– “When you plant, everything prospers.” (Portuguese traveler who was unfamiliar with the Ministry of Agriculture of Brazil’s bureaucracy)
– Although he was feeling ill and had great love for life, he went to the hospital.
– Fully within undeniable reason and protected by legal precept, he spent a fortune on the best lawyer.
– The Brazilian production of onions was burnt down and thrown into the waters of São Francisco. Then, we import two shiploads of sprouted onions.
– “Heart, Tear” and other plays awarded by the Ministry of Education and Culture were banned by the Ministry of Justice.
– Man is not dog’s best friend.
– Richard Wagner married Cosima Liszt, the wife of Hans von Bülow, his best friend.
– Man is not man’s best friend…
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